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WAKE UP: Sharapova ass team (meme newsletter)
Shout out to the good homie Donald Wine II
Diaspora United
August 11, 2023
Thanks to y’all we’re gonna be twenty toes down in Australia and New Zealand for the 2023 World Cup! The WAKE UP edition of our newsletter will be your go-to spot for updates, analysis, recaps, travel chat, and anything else we drop.
We’re changing it up this newsletter! Yes we’re going to give you the scores but Twitter was twittering today (especially after Spain vs The Netherlands) (no we’re not using that dumb new name) so we’re dropping in all the jokes. Black people are going to make jokes no matter what happens, good or bad. If you get it, you get it. If you don’t, you don’t (and maybe make some new friends?).
🚨 If you’re attempting to avoid match spoilers, do NOT scroll further!
We’re serious, don’t do it! You’ve been warned!
Still reading? Ok let’s do this…
Spain 2-1 The Netherlands
We wanna give y’all good game analysis but honestly the best part of this match was the tweets after the Netherlands lost.
In case you missed the match: it was a mid off, Spain hit the post a few times BUT Salma Paralluelo scored an absolute BANGER to give Spain the 2-1 win right after Lineth Beerensteyn (newly minted shittalker missed a huge chance to make it 2-1 to the Oranje):
SALMA PARALLUELO’S FIRST WORLD CUP GOAL PUTS SPAIN AHEAD
— Diaspora United Pod (Crystal Dunn’s Lucky Charms) (@DiasporaUtdPod)
3:38 AM • Aug 11, 2023
Netherlands probably shoulda been focused on Spain instead of talking trash about a USWNT program they haven’t beaten since May 1991, which was the only time they’ve ever won against them in 11 matches.
Sharapova ass team…now they can talk all they want on the plane home.
— Donald Wine II (@blazindw)
3:46 AM • Aug 11, 2023
A black woman with braids scoring for
Spain in a World Cup, the moors won.— . (@tsnmknd)
3:35 AM • Aug 11, 2023
So, they’re Van de Gone? #NED
— nubia ✰ (@nxbaafnkln)
3:48 AM • Aug 11, 2023
Still Jorge Vilda out.
Up next for Spain: Sweden
Japan 1-2 Sweden
sweden can’t keep getting away with this
— ugh (@838_carlisle)
8:36 AM • Aug 11, 2023
Thanks we hate it!
Our beloved Japan got knocked out today by Sweden (of all teams). It was a bad day for the Nadeshiko to have a bad game. Sweden dominated the first half and most of the second. Japan missed a penalty but got a late goal that gave us a bit of hope. They also hit the post so many times we want to know what type of Gotham force field did Sweden acquire and how do we get rid of it.
(We don’t have any good memes because we’re sad and so is everyone else about Japan getting knocked out and there are no good memes because we’re sad)
Up next for Sweden: Spain
Up next for the rest of us:
France vs Australia (will the Renardissance continue or will the Matildas prevail?)
England vs Colombia (How will England cope without LJ and how many times will Lucy Bronze get torched by Linda Caicedo?)
BYE
– Courtney & André
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