WAKE UP: Not sure we have the words

Thanks to y’all we’re gonna be twenty toes down in Australia and New Zealand for the 2023 World Cup! The WAKE UP edition of our newsletter will be your go-to spot for updates, analysis, recaps, travel chat, and anything else we drop.

Did that really happen? ¼ of the round of 16 games have already finished and WHEW chillay do we have some things to talk about.

🚨 If you’re attempting to avoid match spoilers, do NOT scroll further!

We’re serious, don’t do it! You’ve been warned!

Still reading? Ok let’s do this…

Netherlands 2-0 South Africa

This one hurt a lot (literally and emotionally). South Africa lost two players from their starting XI in the first half due to injury, had a goalkeeping error lead to a goal for the Netherlands and Dutch keeper Daphne van Domselaar came up with some massive saves. So much so that, according to some expected goals (xG) models, South Africa posted a higher total.

We also need to talk about the refereeing in this game. Despite an extremely physical match that lead to the Mbane and Seoposenwe injuries and substitutions, the referee didn’t issue the first yellow card until the 67th minute. By that point, there were several moments when no fouls were given and at least three moments where Dutch players could have been cautioned. We’re not saying the outcome of the game would have changed if fouls were given but injuries and some crunchy challenges could have been prevented if the refereeing was better.

Still, it was a great showing from South Africa who didn’t look anywhere near as out of place as Switzerland or Norway yesterday (last night? morning? whatever!). That UEFA coefficient should be plummeting and CAF needs some respeck put on its name.

“If the goalkeeper gets player of the match what does that tell you,” said South Africa head coach Desiree Ellis. She’s absolutely right. And she, and her story, are also a good reminder that South Africa accomplished this without proper assistance from their federation. Only poor luck and spectacular goalkeeping kept them from reaching a quarterfinal. The players, coaching and ability are there, it’s beyond time for SAFA to quit playin.

Well done to Banyana Banyana, you had a great, historic tournament, and have been a mf’n delight on and off the pitch – we miss them already. For NWSL folk, you can continue watching tournament standout Thembi Kgatlana play for Racing (Rahsing) Louisville.

Sweden 0 (5) - 0 (4) USA

Well, that was painful. Of course it was Sweden. The Narrative was there. Footy can be cruel.

The USWNT was knocked out by Sweden 5-4 on penalties. The Swedes were saved by the most heartbreaking VAR decision on the final penalty. Alyssa Naeher made her second save of the penalty shootout but couldn’t keep the ball from fully crossing over the line.

The USWNT had two chances to win the shootout after Sweden missed a pen and Naeher saved another. We’re not going to blame who missed the penalties because for us, this is on Vlatko. Several things could have been done before! and during! this World Cup to prevent this outcome.

Coming into this game, there were high expectations for the USWNT to right the ship for an otherwise dull 2023 World Cup campaign. Vlakto decided to change up the USWNT’s 4-3-3 to a 4-2-3-1 before the match, giving Emily Sonnett her first ever World Cup start. The worst part is that it worked. It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies and some problems still existed but the game plan worked. Sonnett in the midfield worked, which proved the issues were structural and not on any of the nonsense used to berate the players.

The USWNT limited Sweden to one shot on target while they peppered the Swedish net, taking 22 shots with 11 on target. Chelsea goalkeeper Zećira Mušović had the game of her career and prevented the USWNT from finding the back of the net. (side note: maybe André shouldn’t have been talkin shit)

All it took was 1 millimeter over the line for the USWNT to get knocked out and set a new record: earliest exit at a World Cup for the team and for a reigning World Cup champ.

Seeing that in person and seeing the cruelest way a team could go out via penalties hurt.

We’re hopping on the mics to get a recap pod so get ready!

BYE

– André & Courtney