WAKE UP: THE GROUP OF DEATH IS GROUP OF DEATHING

SEVERAL THINGS HAPPENED

Thanks to y’all we’re gonna be twenty toes down in Australia and New Zealand for the 2023 World Cup! The WAKE UP edition of our newsletter will be your go-to spot for updates, analysis, recaps, travel chat, and anything else we drop.

Yes it’s the mid morning/early afternoon but SEVERAL THINGS HAPPENED SO WAKE BACK UP. We normally have a longer preamble to start the newsletter but we are still quaking in our boots from the performances (good and bad!).

🚨 If you’re attempting to avoid match spoilers, do NOT scroll further!

We’re serious, don’t do it! You’ve been warned!

Still reading? Ok let’s do this…

USA 1-1 Netherlands

Welcome to the Vlatko Andonovski World Cup Experience! We don’t like it here and we explain why in our post match reaction pod! Links to listen below:

Portugal 2-0 Vietnam

Debutants Portugal got their first ever win from a delightful team performance vs Vietnam. Our faves always be shootin’ Jéssica Silva and the yung gawd Kika Nazareth were slicin’ and dicin’ and it was a joy to watch. Telma Encarnação scored the first in the 7th minute and Nazareth got the second 14 minutes later.

It was really chance after chance for Portugal over the entire 90 minutes. Portugal has a whopping 4.02 expected goals (xG) with 29 shots and nine on target. The defensive solidity we saw Vietnam have (at times) against the US went missing. The Portuguese attack caused a massive headache for the Vietnamese back line. Portugal was giving overlapping runs, underlapping runs, wingers getting wide, wingers inverting, player gliding into open space, all on top of flicks and tricks.

You put all those ingredients together and what do you get? Um pastel de nata (estilo de futebol).

Australia 2-3 Nigeria

BABY THIS TURNED INTO AN ALL TIME CLASSIC. Courtney will have a deep dive into the performance once her nerves calm down with some post game quotes for you later but a short-ish recap:

Heading into it, both teams were missing stars in their starting XIs. Australia’s Sam Kerr and Mary Fowler were out due to a calf injury and a concussion, respectively. Nigeria started Asisat Oshoala on the bench after she picked up a small injury after the Canada game.

The match got hot right before half time. Emily Van Egmond opened the scoring in the first minute of stoppage time but Uchenna Kanu got the equalizer just 5 minutes later (see what happens when you start her Rahsing).

Nigeria gets the go ahead goal in the 65th minute after player of the match Osinachi Ohale dunked on Alanna Kennedy while getting kicked in the stomach.

Australia and the 40,000+ crowd are stunned.

In the blink of an eye, it got worse for the Matildas. A routine header back to keeper went awry for Alanna Kennedy and Mackenzie Arnold. Asisat Oshoala pounces on the mistake, shoots from a tight angle and it’s nothing but net. The crowd is in disbelief and the small but loud contingent of Super Falcon fans go crazy as Nigeria lead 3-1.

Someone should put this to my heart will go on when she rounds the keeper.

A new iconic celebration is born thanks to the only African player to score in three Women’s World Cups.

Australia throw everything and everyone forward to push for a quick goal and a hopeful equalizer. Nigeria defend extremely well for the last 30 minutes but the Matildas got a very late consolation goal in the 10th minute of stoppage time from Alanna Kennedy.

Nigeria now sits at the top of Group B with 4 points. Australia will have to beat Canada to make it to the Round of 16 and Nigeria need one point from their match vs Ireland to make it through. The Group of Death is Group of Deathing.

BYE

Courtney & André

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